The Origin of Homosexuality

The Origin of Homosexuality

Jai Church, Homosexuality, Religion, Uncategorized

Today, a very interesting question was posted on Facebook in a private group discussion: Are you born gay or do you choose to be gay?

Now, because this question was posted in a community of believers (I tend not to use religious dominations such as Christians, or Saints, etc.), I found it to be quite intriguing. Homosexuality in the church is such a controversial subject! Everyone has their own opinions and interpretations of the Bible. Before I share mine, I’d like to share some powerful thoughts expressed by some in the group. For privacy sake, I’ll call the one who posted the question, Ms. B; and one of the responders will be Ms. J. And me, of course :-). So after Ms. B posted the question, here’s Ms. J’s response:

Ms. J: Such a great question Ms. B. I used to think this topic was a black and white discussion, but it has a lot more specs of gray these days for me. And the depth of same gender attraction is bigger than a one word answer or response. I think some people make a choice based on their experience, hurt, rejection, etc., and once healed they choose differently, which is awesome. I think we all need to be our authentic selves, being free from past pain and personal assault… I also think there are persons who have had same gender attraction since childhood. I remember two little boys I used to encounter at church. Both boys had strong female “tendencies” from a very young age, and both sets of parents were believers and strong leaders in church. One father was a police officer and he did his very best to “toughen his boy” by putting him in sports and beating the living daylights out of him at any sign of “softness”; it was more like abuse, but no one called it that. I think everybody’s story is different, including the cause of everyone’s attraction. I pray for those who have had a change of heart and want to get out of their situation/relationship, and I pray for those who are facing new/old truths and don’t know what to do or who to talk to about them.

Ms. B’s response: Yes I agree it is NOT a black and white issue. There seems to be so much gray. I am reminded of the Sodom and Gomorrah story. I never got the sense that God destroyed the area because of the gay folks but rather the sin ATTITUDE. I agree that some choose and some are left without a choice.

My response: Well said by both ladies. These are the types of conversations we need to have in the church. I’m reminded of the scripture when the bible teachers questioned Jesus why He was having dinner with the sinners and His response was (paraphrasing), “I came not for the healthy but for those who need to be healed.” It’s not the “gays” who need to be healed; it’s those who lack knowledge of Who God truly is. His love and grace that surpasses all carnal understanding.

This thought-provoking discussion led Ms. B to begin a research project, studying the issue of homosexuality and how the church responds to this very relevant issue.

Personally, I’ve encountered both sides of church leaders being violent and angry towards homosexuals (even kicking them out of the church in the middle of service, or making them feel so uncomfortable that they would leave); and church leaders who embraced homosexuals because they are God’s children and they deserve the same love as heterosexuals. I’ve been in so many conversations with “Christians” (and I use that term loosely) who blatantly said, “I will never sit next to or eat dinner with a gay.” As if their shit don’t stink! Yeah, I said it. As if someone wants to sit with them and their nasty attitude.

No one is perfect; no one is better than anyone else; all of us have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. That has nothing to do with sexuality, but everything to do with your heart. For it is the heart of man (or woman) that God judges.

Stay tuned my faithful blog readers for the outcome of the research Ms. B is putting together. It’s a topic we need to talk about, and be completely honest and transparent about … it’s not a cut and dry answer; it’s not a cookie cutter; it’s not even a right or wrong answer … there are different perspectives, different stories, different reactions; but I can guarantee that it will provoke thought and self-reflection.

I would love to hear your thoughts. But please understand my blog site is a positive sharing environment. I’m quite sure we are all intelligent enough to relay our thoughts and feelings without discrediting someone else because of their lifestyle or choices. Name calling or judgment is NOT welcomed and will be deleted immediately. Take that to your own blog site. Thank you.


Java Dewd March 8, 2015 at 4:22 pm

My wife has a cousin who is gay. She lives with her significant other. They are raising a child. They are practicing Catholics. I don’t put forth any praise or honor or approval to their lifestyle, but I don’t condemn them. Even though sometimes the socialization gets a bit dicey at times (do you wish one Happy Father’s Day or both Happy Mother’s Day? When you invite “just the guys” to the bar, is it rude not to be inclusive to one or both of them? That sort of thing…), we try to be inclusive and if they ever have issues, we offer our opinion for what it’s worth. It’s not “tolerance” for the sake of tolerance or because the world (or worse the LGBT bullies) tell us we MUST do it, but rather “love,” because that’s what we’re called to do. I doubt anybody in our family would ever “force” them to be “reeducated” or any of that garbage, and we sure as hell don’t condemn them for their choice. Beating someone over the head or spitting vitriol never changed anybody’s mind about anything.


    Jai March 8, 2015 at 7:38 pm

    Java Dewd, you are definitely speaking of the “gray” areas when it comes to interacting with others who choose a certain lifestyle. And society only complicates things further by forcing us to “label” ourselves as heterosexual or homosexual or bisexual. Why should any of that matter? I really enjoyed reading your response because it comes from a place of truth and honesty that not a lot of people would admit to. It is dicey, and I’m so fortunate that we have an open forum to talk about these types of situations and find resolve, hopefully, once and for all. Thank you so much for sharing!


Angela F. March 25, 2015 at 5:32 pm

I absolutely loved this entry that you made. I’ve always seen homosexuality as one of those topics everyone was afraid to touch or if it was touched upon it was either coming at a person of its origin with fire & Brimstone. I’m not a devout Christian but I’m working on myself but I’ve always been taught by my mother & in the church, who are we to judge someone? God is the one who pasts judgement. To each is own whom may connect with being homosexual. No one should be treated any differently because of their sexual orientation because at the end of the day we are all humans & children of God. It is true, homosexuality is not just clean cut black & white, but several shades of gray. We have no idea what may have caused a person to decide to be homosexual may it be rape, mental & physical abuse, neglect, or etc. I have a family member that grew up with both parents and siblings both male & female but associated himself more with being feminine. His mother dressed him in dresses around the house & no one batted a eye. I’m not saying I condone it based upon what I’ve been taught from the Bible, but I have no control over it. At the end of the day I can only pray for myself & others & give an account of my sins.


    Jai March 25, 2015 at 6:32 pm

    Very well said cuz! It’s God’s job to judge and our job to love despite our differences. It’s not an easy conversation but my goal is to bring awareness that none of us are perfect or in the position to tell God who and who not to love. We are all His children. Thanks for sharing!


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