I absolutely LOVE my support system! They engage me in conversations that change my perception of life. They give me a whole new perspective that allows me to cope better with what I’m going through. Just last night, I was conversing with one of my supporters, who just happen to also be a Minister and my ex-husband. Yep, I said it, my ex-husband is a part of my support system. I’ll talk about that relationship later. Or maybe not. It’s rather interesting. Anyways, I digress.
But we were talking about my current challenged relationship with my child and how it has been a great emotional ride for me. I constantly have to check my feelings and rely on God’s promise. And then he says something so simple, yet profound, that I had to share: the concept of following after your feelings is this – feelings are always influenced by something. So when we feel something that is negative, we also have the choice to counteract that negative feeling with something positive. Feelings can easily be changed by what you’re feeling! It is up to you whether you choose to partner with your negative feelings (doubt, hurt, anger, pain, hopelessness, sadness, confusion) OR you can detach from those negative feelings by influencing positive energy.
How so? Well, if you are a believer in God’s Word, surround yourself with the Word of God. Even if the feeling of belief does not overwhelm you immediately while you are reading, believe that God’s Word will never fail (that is God’s promise to you as a believer). Listen to gospel music. Fill and feed your spirit with everything God! Will the negative feelings go away right away? Perhaps or perhaps not. That’s not really the point of this exercise. The point is to feed your soul in spite of your feelings by counteracting the negative feelings with something positive. Eventually, the negative feelings will dissipate and will be replaced with positive feelings. The key is to never give up and keep pushing and fighting to break the cycle of negativity. Feelings are so flaky it is pitiful! That is why you cannot rely on them.
Now, if you do not believe in God, the same method applies, just on a different spectrum. Focus on something positive and what makes you “feel” good. For me, it is a big bowl of homemade macaroni and cheese (extra cheese please)! Or buffalo wings … fried hard and extra saucy please (don’t give me that baked crap, yuck). Yes, food comforts me. Or music … music is soothing as well. When I’m having a bad day, I cook a southern meal (my favorite) and play R&B music (old school like Keith Sweat, Johnny Gill, Freddie Jackson, etc.). Remember that feelings are easily influenced by feelings and controlled by you. You have the power to change (or influence) your own feelings. It’s up to you and you have to learn how to tap into your own inner power.
Be well my peeps!