Yesterday, I was experiencing technical difficulty in my body. It comes and goes based on my lack of sleep, anxiety, and other factors. It truly is a medical condition that I’ve struggled with and managed for several years now, and it flares when those main factors are present at once. For the past month or so, I’ve awaken every morning at 3am, not being able to fall back to sleep but rather continue on with my day of activities, responsibilities and obligations. Often helping everyone else and neglecting my own cup of refilling and refueling. Yesterday reminded me that I need to sometimes steal away and refresh. I need to seek my true Source for the strength and guidance to this thing called Life.
Today, I participated in a group prayer, after not being able to sleep for over 21 hours. The prayer was quite short, but exactly what I needed. It’s not the quantity, but rather the quality. The words of prayer were something like, “Lord I thank You that I am able to come to You as my Source.”
I could pull Biblical scriptures and teachings on God being our Source, but I don’t want to. This blog is simply knowing Who God is to ME. The Word (the Bible) is powerful and justifies our faith as believers; but where I am coming from right now in this present moment is from my soul. I’ve been in turmoil the for the past month, during Lent season, not understanding why some things were working out for my good, while others seemed to be stagnant or lacked increase. I’ve had good days, great days and days that sucked (like yesterday); and it threw me for a loop because I have dedicated this season to seek God and His Will and His forgiveness. So the first thing I questioned was, “what am I doing wrong?” Today’s prayer reminded me that there will be good days and there will be not-so-good days. What I do in the good days will prepare and sustain me through the not-so-good days. For one thing is for sure that I cannot control or change or take away from, God is my true Source. Always has been and always will be. That’s all.
Am I still experiencing technical difficulty in my body? Yes. Am I still in a rut? Yes. Am I still facing financial challenges? Hell yes! Am I still reevaluating my relationships? Yes. Am I still working on a million projects? Uh huh.
My point is, though I am still in the same situation prior to the group prayer; I am strengthened and encouraged to deal with those situations and TRUST that my true Source will work it all out in His timing, in His way, and for His glory. Now THAT is all. Be blessed or just BE.