Loving Me: Flaws and All

Loving Me: Flaws and All

Jai God, Happiness, Life, Love, Pain, Relationships, Survivor, Truth, Uncategorized

Hi everyone, if you’ve been following along with my posts, last night I wrote a blog titled “God loves me: flaws and all”. Tonight is part two of that blog post appropriately titled, “Loving ME: flaws and all”. Yeah, I had to learn that if God loves me who am I to deny self-love? But looking in the mirror every day became quite a chore when I was unhappy. When I made poor choices and was embarrassed to look at myself. When I was so hurt by love that I could not hold my head up high. Oh yes, there were plenty of moments when I didn’t feel like loving me.

Every time I had unprotected sex. Because I didn’t value my body or my life. Because I had been ripped of self-value from a very young age, by a man you stole my virginity at the age of five. He not only took my virginity, but he stole my identity. He stole my innocence. He stole my self-esteem. So all of those things had to grow on me because they did not come naturally. I wasn’t born with those qualities. That’s why it was so hard for me to believe that God could love someone like me. Someone so broken. Someone so torn. Someone so foul and ugly and weak and lowly. How could God love someone like me?????

I will never forget this lesson from a very powerful woman when I was in my late twenties. I call her, Mama Mek! She told me to do this one simple exercise that catapulted into the hemisphere! She told me to strip down to my bare bottom, no socks, or anything. Stand in front of a body length mirror. And say out loud to the “me” looking back at me, “I love you.” She said (and I paraphrase), “You won’t feel that it’s true at first. You may even feel weird, or odd, and very uncomfortable. But keep doing it every single day for 30 days straight.”

Who knew my self-esteem would develop into a lion???!!! Perhaps I should’ve only done that for 15 days, LOL. Because the love I have for myself is beyond what I’ve ever imagined I could have! I make different choices now because I do love me. Every single part of me… the good, bad and real ugly… I love it all! There is nothing sexier than a confident woman!

And honey, when I have my four-inch heels on, just move out of my way! There’s nothing out of my reach. There’s no mountain too high or a valley too low. There’s nothing I cannot do. As a matter of fact, I dare you to tell me that I can’t do something! I’ll do it simply to prove you wrong, LOL. Yes, I love me.

So every scar, every cellulite, every blemish, every crooked tooth, every blurred vision (I wear glasses y’all), every ingrown toenail, every pain from my injured nerve, every limitation, every boundary, every lack of understanding, every word I cannot spell or pronounce …. Honey, child, sugar bunch… I AM LOVING ME: FLAWS AND ALL!! #dropsmic #walksoffstage #lightsoff #cuethemusic

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