A Letter to My Broken Heart

A Letter to My Broken Heart

A Letter to My Broken Heart

Jai Faith, God, Happiness, Life, Love, Overcoming Challenges, Pain, Relationships, Survivor

Dear Broken Heart,

I see you. I hear you. I feel you. I know you’ve been in battle for quite some time now. You’ve lost so much in the fire. I’ve watched you give your all, hoping and wishing that you would get it back in return, only to be disappointed not long after. Yet, you continued to give of yourself. You never gave up. You never give up. You don’t even understand the concept of giving up.

But now, you are on the cusp of giving up. You want to quit. You want to know what it is like to be defeated by life. To be defeated by circumstance. To be defeated by let downs. You want to be “ordinary”. You want to be “normal”. You want to be “average”. You want to walk away from your faith. You want to give up on your calling. You question if you are really built for this life. The life of a healer, when you are so broken. The life of a giver, when you are so depleted. The life of a lover, when you have been betrayed – over and over and over and over again.

I see you. I hear you. I feel you. The hurt. The pain. The scars, past and present.

It’s amazing how people can easily and effortlessly say hurtful things to you, and expect you to take it. They expect, because you have shown strength and warrior-like characteristics, you are just supposed to take it. But their motive is really to control you. They want you to do what only benefits them. And when you do not conform, they strike. They use their sharp tongues to destroy you.

I see you. I hear you. I feel you. The hurt. The excruciating pain. The kind of pain that holds on like a bulldog. The scars, past and present.

I look back when you were in a period of darkness about 20 years ago. Yes, I know you’ve been here before. Back then, though, you were broken because of incest, rape, domestic abuse, homelessness, financial hardship, emotional abuse, spiritual abuse… all alone. You cried but no one heard you. You lashed out of your hurt because you felt the only way to get out of your own hurt was to rage war against anyone who came near you. Everyone was suspect and only wanted personal gain from you.

I see you. I hear you. I feel you. The hurt. The pain. The scars, past and present.

Some of those whom you hurt are still around today, waiting for your ultimate demise. They don’t see you. They only see the past you. The hurt you. The broken you. They boxed you as if you could not grow. They remind you, just like your own subconscious mind, of how you were back then. And because they cannot see you today, that hurts you even more. Forgiveness is not as easy as it may seem. Some will never forgive you. And because of that, they will always hurt you. They will keep you in their little box of shame.

They are snakes sticking around only to bite you. Only to keep you trapped in your past. Trapped in that box. Be aware of the snakes. Their face will look familiar. Their voice will be recognizable. They will also look the part of clergy. They will also look the part of ministers of God’s Word. But they, too, are hurt. They will use slick words to make you think they have your best interest in mind. They will use enticing words because of your essence of trust and forgiving and always giving people chance after chance.

People change is what you tell yourself. Your mission in life is to cure the hurt so that people can change. To heal the broken hearted. This also puts you in front line battle. But you have to unapologetically not allow them access to you. UNAPOLOGETICALLY. They will have no access to you, my dear Broken Heart. You are healing right now. Protect the process. Trust the process. Yield to the process. And kick them to the curb. UNAPOLOGETICALLY!!!

I see you. I hear you. I feel you. The hurt. The pain. The scars, past and present.

But here’s what I want to say to you Broken Heart: You will heal from this too. Just as you were healed from your past, you will be healed from this current pain. This current brokenness. This current disappointment. This current financial hardship. This current lack and depletion. You will heal.

How do I know this? Because I’ve watched you pick yourself up before. I’ve watched you walk through your healing by using the only weapon you know works effectively and efficiently. The only thing that has ever and will ever heal you: The Word of God. Your foundation. You were raised on faith in God.

Go ahead, you take the necessary time to go through the pain, but remember to always resort back to the Word of God.

Hold on my dear Broken Heart. When you’re ready, allow God’s Word to heal you through and through. And when you’re ready, remember this:

Psalms 91:1 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

That secret place … only you and the Almighty know about. There is where you are safe. There is where you are protected against the snakes. They don’t understand how you can go through so much and come out looking like you’ve never gone through anything! They don’t understand how your words impact nations. They envy you. They are jealous. They want to know the secret. But that secret is in the hiding place. The place you found God. The place you allow God to heal you and put you back out in battle. That secret place only you and God know about.

Next, remember this, my dear Broken Heart, Psalms 23:

1 The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.

2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

[Now this one is my favorite my dear Broken Heart]

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

[Listen up my dear Broken Heart at the Word of the Lord]

5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

6 SURELY goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.


My dear Broken Heart, I know you are hurting right now. I know you are in pain right now. I know you are disappointed right now. I see you. I hear you. I feel you. But know this one thing, it will not last. Please don’t give up. Please don’t take your life before you have the chance to impact and save another’s. Your road is unpaved. There are unexpected bumps and bruises. There are detours along the way. But no matter what, never give up. You have your two best friends following you. Goodness and mercy.

You wonder why people are so attracted to you. It is not because of your looks my dear Broken Heart, it is because of your anointing. They are curious to see where it comes from. So show them. Teach them how to find their secret place. Teach them without words, my dear Broken Heart.

One last thing: You will be fine. You’re going to survive this in order to survive others. You are going to raise the dead. You are going to heal nations. This process you’re going through right now will set others free. Some of your process will take place in the secret place, and some will take place publicly. Either way, you will be fine. You will survive. And you will carry out your mission. Keep pressing through.

I love you to LIFE,

Jai

 

P.S. My Broken Heart, I believe Pastor Marvin Sapp wrote a song for you. Let the words of healing saturate you through this moment.

 

P.S.S. Yeah, I think Pastor Sapp wrote another song just for you. You know oh too well these words.. let them minister to you during this time of healing. And remember, God loves you and so do I!

 

P.S.S.S. When you come through this one, I can’t WAIT to hear your testimony.

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