Hurt People Hurt People

Hurt People Hurt People

Jai Abuse, Domestic Violence, God, Love, Pain, Relationships, Uncategorized, Victim

Joyce Meyers, a world renown Christian Bible Teacher, once said this a long time ago and it resonated with me ever since. It’s one of those soul impacting statements that has the power to change how a mind thinks and processes things.

I know this guy who was abandoned by his mother as a young boy and rather than dealing with it in a healthy way (i.e. therapy, medication, institutionalization, etc.), he decided to screw women (literally and physically), as many as he could. Oftentimes without protection, so you know what comes next – numerous children by different women. But that’s not the sad part. I mean, there are “many” sad parts to this story; but I’m going to say one of the saddest part is the women he’s emotionally destroyed along the way and he has absolutely no awareness (or concern) of the consequences of his destructive behavior. Not to mention all of those babies who have to grow up with an absentee father (but that is another blog). Out of all the women, I think about the one whose child was born prematurely, and died only a couple of days later. And guess where he was while his baby lay in the incubator fighting for his life? Yep, with another woman (who is coincidentally now inducted into the baby mama club)! He didn’t go one time to the hospital to see his dying son (only son). Meanwhile, the young lady was left to bury her infant son alone, a pain to which I can certainly relate. I had a miscarriage, so I know the pain of losing a child. But then add to that pain a no good, heartless, baby daddy who goes ghost when it’s time to man up and take care of responsibilities, and that’s enough to make a woman go insane. And that’s exactly what happened! She had a moment of temporary insanity and destroyed his property. It could’ve been worse. The story could’ve ended like Lorena Bobbitt.

Hurt people hurt people. It’s cyclical. And most hurt people are unaware of the damage they are causing because they themselves are consumed with hurt. Some hurt is irreparable. And all the Bible huggers will grasp in disbelief that I just said that! LOL I stand by every word. Some hurt is irreparable. And I believe God is a healer. The healer of all healers. And my statement remains. Let’s open up the grave and ask some folks who died of a broken heart. Oh if the grave could talk! All of the people who took secrets to their graves. Who were too ashamed to speak of the horrid they lived here on earth. Not everyone survives traumatic experiences. If we all had that kind of faith, there would be no need for psychologists, or medication to treat depression … churches would be empty, synagogues would be torn down, journalists and ruthless paparazzi would not have a job, reality TV would be nonexistent, etc. You get my point. The world has found a way to capitalize from the pain of common folks. Even celebrities are now “coming out” with their stories of abuse, neglect, and painful upbringing. The world would feel sorry for them while the story is hot. Then something else would happen and it’s on to the next. Meanwhile the hurt is still hurting. It’s a cycle. Hurt people hurt people.

But I’m not going to leave you in this dark world of gloom and despair. Hurt people can also heal people. I am a witness to that. Read about my story of the hurt (me) hurting the hurt (anyone in my path). Hurt was all I had to give and I gave it out plenty. It took someone who could love me past the hurt, earn my trust, and guide me to the road of healing. The hurt done to me only lasted a few minutes, but it caused a pain that lasted for over 20 years.  It took a friend above all friends to be strong enough to deal with all the baggage that came along with being in my life. I wasn’t letting anybody close! Without a true, God-sent friend, I would not be where I am today. The journey has not been easy, but as the old church mothers would say, I wouldn’t take nothing for my journey now. As you can tell from my logo, my heart has taken a beaten after beaten after beaten. But I’m still here. And that could become our new cycle. Just like any cycle, it’s breakable. If we don’t like it, we tear it down and start anew. We, as humankind, have the power to change the way things run and operate in this world. Use your power for good. #startswithyou #breakthehurtcycle #wecanrebuild #healtheworld #onehurtatatime


Valerie Atkinson-Leigh February 13, 2015 at 9:03 am

Well said! My hope is that more of us who have been hurt will find healing, or at least the ability to help others who have also been hurt..


    Jai February 14, 2015 at 8:11 am

    Yes! You get it! Only the hurt can heal the hurt. The one thing that irritates the hell out of me is for someone who has never raised a child try to tell me how to raise mine. Someone with experience will have a greater effect and response rate; but getting someone to open up about the most vulnerable part of their lives is challenging and difficult. So I’m starting with myself. I’ll tell my story in hopes that others will begin the journey of telling theirs. That’s how we met! And I’m so honored. See you soon.


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