Happily Ever After

Happily Ever After

Jai Contentment, Happiness, Love, Uncategorized

I must admit that I do watch Lifetime Movies on my pastime; but have you noticed that every ending to every movie is a happily ever after? Every girl finds the man of her dreams; every murderer or bad person is either arrested or killed and the threat is no longer valid; every wronged person is righted (yeah, I think I made that up, which is common for me); every emotionally wounded person is miraculously healed and happy and moving on with their lives within 2 ½ hours – the length of the movie. And if the movie ends without a happily ever after, it simply means there’s a sequel coming soon that will have the happily ever after. I get it though… it’s entertainment. Except, those who are watching, those who are actually waiting for their happily ever after, believes that it’s going to happen just like it did in the movie. What a freaking rip off! Not just Lifetime Movies, but movies in general give a false sense of hope and reality – not cool.

Here’s the truth: happiness is predicated and dependent upon what happens. And circumstances “happen” all the time that causes things to change as it happens. Does any of that make sense? Basically, all I’m saying is that there is no such thing as happily ever after. And all of the hopeless romantics will be outraged by my last statement and will turn the page. They will say, “Oh she’s never been in love before, so she doesn’t know what love feels like.” Or they may say, “She’s so bitter, she could never get a man.” “She’s been hurt by a man so she can never believe there’s real love out there.” “There is a such thing as love at first sight.” Blah, blah, blah. I love a good debate, so since I am the one speaking, I can explain my point first :-).

This is why I say there’s no such thing as happily ever after, as you know it to be, as what is portrayed in the movies:  Things change and people change. Not every story has a happy ending; and every broken heart damn sure is NOT cured, healed and made whole in a matter of hours, or days, or even years. It’s not that easy and it’s not that simple. What the movies leave out is the work it takes to get that “happily ever after” (if you will) and that work first starts with self. So, no, I don’t want a happily ever after. I don’t want to be sold a dream. I don’t want a false sense of reality to convince me there is such a thing as happily ever after. But hey, I won’t leave you hanging in despair to think you will never be “happy” in this lifetime. I’m not a pessimistic J. Instead of fighting for happiness which is reliant upon what happens, how about striving to be “content” which is simply relying upon what is within. There is a difference. Happiness changes by the moment, contentment remains and is constant.

You see, contentment comes when you can accept things as they truly are, whether good or bad. Contentment doesn’t change or fade based on what happens. A husband cheats on his wife, or a wife beats the snot out of her husband, or a child runs away from home, or an employee is fired for sleeping on the job – all of these events can change a person’s happiness. But contentment says, “I acknowledge the disappointment (or whatever feeling) that comes along with this circumstance. I will deal with it. I will conceptualize it. I will own my part in it. I will learn the lesson. And I will grow from it.” And growing from the place of disappointment, despair, hurt, and pain to the place of contentment is a PROCESS. And this process has no time limits to it. It is based on your ability to allow yourself to go through the process. And this PROCESS is the missing piece from the happily ever after portrayed in these movies.

So my desire is that you understand the difference between the happily ever after, which is conditional, and focus on being content, which is far more rewarding. #content

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