I am sorry

I am sorry for being so consumed with my pain that I didn’t see you.

You were one of the best things that ever happened to me.

A gift from GOD.

I am sorry for not nurturing you as I should.

I was too busy being confined to my own darkness.

I was looking for love.

But love was right there staring me in the face.

I was blinded by the shadows of my night.

If only I could awakened to the radiance of your face.

You were my sunshine.

I missed some of the best years of your life.

Your best days are still ahead of you.

You are so loved.

I gave birth to you.

Labor almost caused me to take my last breath.

But we held on.

You are meant to be here.

Endless possibilities.

The sky is not the limit.

It is just the beginning for you.

Remember your superman costume.

Now it is time for you to fly.

Soar on the wings of your family’s love.

The world is waiting!

 

A Way Out

Life has offered me a dish of sufferings.

I have bounced back numerous times by His grace.

But this time I am in the deepest of valleys.

He is light.

So why cant I see my way out?

Maybe the darkness of my soul has blinded me.

I look up and cry out with the faintest cry.

Is anyone there?

I hear.

A still small voice.

I have been here the whole time.

Look within.

It is in the quietness when you hear me.

Unveil My Heart

Unveil my heart

And you will see the shreds of my heart dangling to keep form.

Unveil my heart

And you will see the cries of my heart.

Unveil my heart

And you will see the depths of my soul.

Unveil my heart

And you will know who I am.

Unveil my heart

And listen to the faint beats.

Unveil my heart

And resuscitate me.

Let Go

Stop holding on.

Let go.

You have done it your way.

Its not helping.

There is more harm than good.

You’ve become comfortable in this place.

Dysfunction.

You dont know what normal is anymore.

Reach out.

Get Help.

Stop holding on to what was!

The past is behind you.

Its eating away your future.

Let Go.

So you can live and breath again.

 

 

 

 

Stuck

I created a world when I was a child to escape the pain.

Now I am an adult stuck in the world I created.

How do I get free?

Endless cycles that need to be broken.

Unstable.

Lost at sea.

No life jacket.

I am drowning in my mess.

Crying but who can hear me.

How do I get out what I created?

I am stuck.

Is this how my story ends……….

 

 

Love Leads The Way

His love awakens me in the morning.

It guides me at noon.

I am lost without it.

His love is the compass of my heart.

It is my light in the darkness.

His love shields me.

I am protected.

His melodies surround me.

I lie awake at night listening to lyrics of His love.

His love satisfies me.

It is better than the finest wine.

His love comforts me.

It is my pillow that ushers me into sweet sleep.

His love is my night song.

Ready for the dawn of a new day.

 

 

Unfailing Love

Since the day I was formed in my mothers womb, your love surrounded me.

You knitted me in your unfailing love before I took a breath.

As the waters broke and I took my first breath, your love filled my lungs.

You gave me life as I cried my first song to the reaction of your unfailing love.

From the Heavens to the Earth you brought me to know your heart.

I am ready to take this journey as you surround me with your heart beat.

The path will not always be easy but as long as I tune in to the rhythm of your love.

Your love will always be there from the 1st birthday to the 100th birthday.

Oh what a treasure!

I am forever yours wrapped in your unfailing love and ready for the adventure.

 

Courage

I sit in the shadows of this cage waiting for someone to unlock the door.

Unlock the door to my destiny.

I have been singing the same song

But now it is time for me to sing a new song.

A song of Liberty.

A song of Hope.

Next time I see the rays of light then

I will step into the light.

My heart awaits the train to my next stop

But I must not miss it this time.

Courage where are you?

It time to be brave.

 

Dear Nicky

Childhood is a place of laughter, learning and growing.

But you were robbed.

Your innocence was stolen.

Your white dress became stained with condemnation and guilt.

You no longer felt clean.

Life threw you on many paths because you where searching for truth.

The truth was in front of you this whole time.

But you couldn’t see.

Because you were blinded by injustice.

If we only could go back and erase every trauma

But who wants to go back to the dead things when life is in front of you.

I am sorry.

I am sorry you missed out on a beautiful, joyful childhood.

But it is time for you to move on and,

Allow the broken pieces of your life to come together.

Don’t be afraid.

It is time to heal.

****A letter to myself***

 

Go Away Pain

You and I have become one.

You met me in my childhood.

I have tried to get rid of you

But to no avail.

You have left me alone and isolated.

I am here figuring out life through your eyes.

Everything through your eyes has distorted my perception.

You run deep in the depths of my soul.

I need help to pull up your roots.

I need a Gardner.

God where are you?

This pain has caused me to become numb.

I can’t feel.

This is so abnormal.

Lord I want to feel again.

I want to love.

Send forth your light.

So I can tell pain to GO AWAY!